The Toxic Phrase

I promised I’d share some of the things I’ve learned during therapy, so here goes. All the usual disclaimers apply: I’m not a psychologist, so feel free to correct me if I’m explaining this wrong.

The benefit of the doubt

I got a comment today that hit me pretty hard emotionally. By the phrasing it used it felt to me like I was being accused of acting in bad faith.

The joy of Stuffies

It’s been a few weeks since I “graduated” my first series of therapy sessions. I’ll probably be going back later, but for now I’ll try to apply what I have learned.

Dealing with my internalised classism.

A while ago I was called out in the comments on one of my writings about a classist comment I made. I took a few minutes to process before responding and had to admit that the commenter was in fact completely right. I had (and still have) a ton of internalised classism.

Some resources about transphobia and ‘social contagion’

Not too long ago a mainstream newspaper in the Netherlands (Volkskrant) did some reporting about de-transitioning and the change in who was looking for gender-affirming treatment. It talked about how originally the majority had been AMAB and now the number of AFAB persons had risen. It also raised concerns about the mental health of these people.

Punching Up versus Punching Down

So. Have you ever listened to a Black comedian say pretty insulting stuff about white people and thought: “How is this OK? If a white guy said the same things about black people there would be hell to pay!”

The fear of not being exceptional

So, another entry in our long-running series “Things that scare Ash”. I’ll probably be writing a bunch more of them, feel free to skip.

Dropping the masks

Note: this is a bit long and rambling, just a bunch of thoughts I’ve been having.

I don’t want to be rewarded with sex

Something that has been stuck in my mind for a while now. My formative years were the 90s and I was very much brought up with the idea that as a guy, you had to earn a girl’s attention.